Have you ever had a dream or plans that just suddenly fade away? Evaporated somewhere and left for nothing? Then you just ended up as somebody who has no direction where to go?
I was dreaming being a basketball captain. But yet, no more. I even have no space to dribble a ball.
I was dreaming to get through into a band. Being a vocalist or guitarist, maybe. But see, I can't develop my skill here. I even stopped.
I was dreaming being the smartest student. But see, I'd never study and I don't want to. People here are too sucks like qwertyuiopasdfghjkl. Studying so hard like they don't have a life.
I was dreaming to get through into so many organization because I really love socialization. But see, the fact is I am more interested to go home earlier and spend my time in my bedroom. Sleeping, browsing, read novels, or whatever. Because I found no joy in those organizations.
I was dreaming to catch for a scholarship. But see, I even don't have an enthusiasm for school anymore.
I was dreaming being a fashionable teenage. But see, fashion isn't appreciated here. It's more likely close to ignorance.
I was dreaming of having so many friends and even best friends. But see, the people here are so individualist and careless to other. I really really hate individualist people. :(
I was dreaming going to so many writing competitions. But see, I didn't. This place seems unappreciated achievements except the achievement on lessons.
I was dreaming to be happy. But I'm not.
Until this time, I still wanna get out from this place. I may look happy in the outside and feel enjoy or excited or something. But hell..............it's just as bad as hell. I still want to go somewhere. Somewhere very far away from this place and run as fast as I can to catch my dreams. Please, God. I am tired. I want my dreams back and I will make it happen. I don't wanna be a person who has no direction in life. I am truly sad when I realized my heart start to say, "Ah, karepmu. Luweh" to the things that was being my dreams.
But I don't know what should I do. This place has burned my dreams away. And sometimes I just feel like I don't belong here.
Mom, Dad...........can you hear for it, the things that my heart always scream out loud everyday?
semoga keluarga pin hijau bisa membuatmu berubah :) nggak semua tempat bagus, belum tentu lebih baik di tempat yang kamu pengen. don't leave the things you need for the things you want. mungkin belum waktunya? mungkin belum tempatnya? bisa karena terpaksa dan terbiasa, hadits rasul lho :B aku gak suka matematika, tapi aku harus bersesuatu biar gk jatuh di matematika, kalo km nggebrak, ada yang dukung :) jangan patah semangat, banyak yang gak seberuntung aku atau kamu.
BalasHapus