Have you ever had a dream or plans that just suddenly fade away? Evaporated somewhere and left for nothing? Then you just ended up as somebody who has no direction where to go?
I was dreaming being a basketball captain. But yet, no more. I even have no space to dribble a ball.
I was dreaming to get through into a band. Being a vocalist or guitarist, maybe. But see, I can't develop my skill here. I even stopped.
I was dreaming being the smartest student. But see, I'd never study and I don't want to. People here are too sucks like qwertyuiopasdfghjkl. Studying so hard like they don't have a life.
I was dreaming to get through into so many organization because I really love socialization. But see, the fact is I am more interested to go home earlier and spend my time in my bedroom. Sleeping, browsing, read novels, or whatever. Because I found no joy in those organizations.
I was dreaming to catch for a scholarship. But see, I even don't have an enthusiasm for school anymore.
I was dreaming being a fashionable teenage. But see, fashion isn't appreciated here. It's more likely close to ignorance.
I was dreaming of having so many friends and even best friends. But see, the people here are so individualist and careless to other. I really really hate individualist people. :(
I was dreaming going to so many writing competitions. But see, I didn't. This place seems unappreciated achievements except the achievement on lessons.
I was dreaming to be happy. But I'm not.
Until this time, I still wanna get out from this place. I may look happy in the outside and feel enjoy or excited or something. But hell..............it's just as bad as hell. I still want to go somewhere. Somewhere very far away from this place and run as fast as I can to catch my dreams. Please, God. I am tired. I want my dreams back and I will make it happen. I don't wanna be a person who has no direction in life. I am truly sad when I realized my heart start to say, "Ah, karepmu. Luweh" to the things that was being my dreams.
But I don't know what should I do. This place has burned my dreams away. And sometimes I just feel like I don't belong here.
Mom, Dad...........can you hear for it, the things that my heart always scream out loud everyday?